Trying to be your own home security system? leave it to the professionals at ______

Husband abuse hotline

Pest Control

domestic abuse

Is that pesky dust settling on your new couch cushions? Grab The NEW!!! Spaco cushion duster!!! (Spaco not liable for damaged or broken furniture, pets or house guests)

For Charlotte Junior Soccer; or
For Pottery Barn ‘free furniture delivery service;’ or
For Two Men and A Truck’s newest moving business competitor; One Touch Chick and A Truck; or
For a jeweler/diamond company. the ask is, “don’t you think you should step up and propose? consider your answer.”

Home Renovation/Remodeling

At a certain point in every woman’s life, you just get fed up with pms. Grab an Alleve instead.

So, you forgot trash day, again.
And you never told her that her haircut looks quite pretty, really.
The Xbox has probably been on a little too often lately.
You polished off the last of the Chubby Hubby.
You forgot to feed the dog—3 days in a row.
And, the seat was left up in the middle of the night—that one was really bad.

Nothing avoids looming conflict like flowers.
Go to flowerscansaveyourasss.com.

Steroids? I’ll give you steroids.

Cheaters.com

(Just did a little revising, is that cool?)

So, you forgot trash day, again.
And you never told her that her haircut looks quite pretty.
The Xbox has probably been on a little too often lately.
And you just polished off the last of the Chubby Hubby.
The seat was left up in the middle of the night—that one was really bad.
Please God, don’t forget to feed the dog for the 3rd day in a row.

Nothing avoids looming conflict like flowers.
Go to flowerscansaveyourasss.com.

Tired of your furniture? There’s an easier way.

Come to Furniture Emporium for fresh styles.

A private investigations firm.
“There’s an easier way to prove it” “Let us do the dirty work”

Don’t call me a soccer mom.
The Little League World Series Aug.21-30, 2009
Only on ESPN, ESPN2, and ABC

watchtower.org

Motorola. Because bad relationships can now end with a call.

I told you kids/dogs/cats/husbands to stay off the furniture!
– Slipcovers?
– Those double-stick tape things they use to keep
cats from shredding the upholstery?

Meow Control—introducing the best way to control your cat and all of its annoying habits.

Facing Foreclosure?

Feeling cut off at the knees?
About to lose your head?
Like you have to take matters into your own hands?

You are not alone, let us help protect your home equity.

Bank of Louisville.
We are here to slug it out with you.

RE:

Jenni • March 4, 2009 • 7:04 pm
Don’t call me a soccer mom.
The Little League World Series Aug.21-30, 2009
Only on ESPN, ESPN2, and ABC

- – -

I try not to read the previous entries but that caught my eye and I say WINNER!

I’m a biased baseball fan though.

Banks got you down. Tired of your credit being declined. Feel stimulus packages are only for the wealthy. Try the K-Tel clubomatic. Just one swift hit and you to can be on TV’s most wanted! Just 19.95 will buy you your Warholian 15 minutes. Limit supply-two per customer. Must be 18years or older. Order in the next 10 minutes and we throw in a set of steak knifes.

I think this is the start of a great series of ad’s for Levi Strauss.

Women need jeans that handle any situation. Including finding out your boyfriend has been cheating.

Brett

An ad for a security system, “If you had ABC Security co., all of those priceless A Bellmas photos that used to hang on your walls, would still be there. Be secure. Fight back. Get A-B-C Security.”

“Oh no he DIDN’T!”

Cover photo to a new Anti-Flag album whose lyrics subvert our SUV, soccer-mom, white picket fence, suburban sprawl duplicity resulting from an inherited submission of individuality in order to achieve HIS “American Dream.”

Slogan:
“I like her because she smiles at me and means it.”

This is an ad for “fighting odors”.
The tagline is -
“Get the bat, the odors are back!”

I don’t have anything of my own, just want to say I vote for Jenni’s Soccer Mom! HA!

An ad for an alternative energy company. The future depends on the impact you leave. Take a stand and buy Acme green today.

Was hoping to come up with one of my own, but Jenni’s ‘Soccer Mom’ is too perfect. Done and done.

When the economy goes down, the crime rate goes up.
Everyday there are home invasions reported on the news.
So I sleep on the couch where I can see the front & back door. Anybody wants what I have, has to come thru an angry mom w/ PMS. Wanna Try it? Get a job. If you can’t get one, make one.

Determination.

Keeps you out of jail.. and the hospital.

“I swear, if one more person tries to kiss me for wearing this green shirt today I’m going to slug him.”

Louisville Sluggers

For when they’ve had too much St. Patty’s Day beer to comprehend NO.